DVD Review: The High Schooler’s Guide To College Parties

Even though I’ve long since stopped being a teenager, sometimes I am still in the mood for a teen comedy. The High Schooler’s Guide To College Parties tells the tale of Shaquille (Nate Rubin), a teenager who hopes to get a college scholarship by throwing a big party. If that sounds like a stupid idea, it’s because it is. But when you’re seventeen, it’s not like you’re seeing all your options clearly, and you’re sometimes likely to latch onto whatever opportunity comes by first. Nate has latched onto the idea of getting a scholarship from self-described “success wizard” Wilford Gates, whose “self-help” tapes he listens to avidly.

During the opening credits sequence, little text messages pop up on screen, along with a sound effect (over a rock version of “Deck The Halls”), which is annoying. Fortunately, there is only one other moment in the movie when that happens. We are introduced in fairly quick succession to a number of characters, whose names – along with a few important personal details – appear on screen. Nate’s closest friends are Sideshow (Kris Kiley) and Chelsea (Brina Palencia), the latter of whom has something of a crush on him. Shaq’s plan is to attend his cousin Brett’s winter break costume party because Gates is going to be there. But when it turns out the party has been canceled because that house is going to fumigated that weekend, Shaquille offers the use of Sideshow’s house (as his parents will conveniently be out of town that weekend). Brett agrees, but stipulates that no other high school kids can attend.

Sideshow, oddly not bothered by the fact that he wasn’t consulted about his house being used, smartly reminds Shaquille that he doesn’t even know anything about throwing a high school party, never mind a college party. But Shaquille has a notebook, a guide to college parties. Thus, the title!  He hands it to Sideshow, who comments, “It’s blank.” Shaquille responds, “I haven’t had time to fill it in yet.” His delivery is great, as he doesn’t try to sell the line. Some bits – like that bit about the notebook – are really funny, and some bits – like that thing about a spirit ribbon – are not. Also, as far as I can recall, that notebook, so well established, is then never mentioned again. It feels like the movie misses a lot of good opportunities like that. Anyway, the film then follows the kids as they try to buy alcohol, book a band, and keep their high school peers from finding out about the party.

There are several funny scenes and moments in the film. I love when a girl suddenly asks, “Why do all the guys say I’m crazy?” She had asked if she looked fat, and Sideshow told her that was crazy, and she erupted in response, startling him. And the bit where the band manager says that “bass players are temporary at best, hardly part of the band at all” is funny. The film also has some decent performances, particularly by Brina Palencia as Chelsea.

But it also resorts to a lot of clichés, as well as scenes and moments stolen from other films. For example, there is a scene where a girl uses a banana to demonstrate how to give a blow job, which of course will remind you of the carrot scene from Fast Times At Ridgemont High (and hey, who carries a banana in her purse anyway?). And Brett’s two friends apparently are also named Brett, which should remind you of the three girls named Heather in Heathers. And, geez, there is a scene where Chelsea goes to a liquor store and nervously purchases several things she doesn’t need, while attempting to purchase a keg of beer. If that sounds familiar, it’s because you saw that scene already in American Graffiti (“Let me have a Three Musketeers, and a ballpoint pen, one of those combs there, a pint of Old Harper, a couple of flashlight batteries and some beef jerky”). The scene where they go to a drug dealer’s house to pick up some weed has also been done several times before. Though in that scene it’s funny when the dealer says “staring at the ceilings.”

There are also some minor continuity issues, as well as problems with the editing. For example, Shaquille tells Sideshow to keep the band’s lead singer away from alcohol, and in the next scene, the band’s manager warns Shaquille about the singer’s problems with alcohol. What the hell? They reversed the scenes for some reason. And actually, when Shaquille and Sideshow arrive at Sideshow’s house, somehow there are already a lot of people inside, and the place is decorated. How did that happen? In a better movie, these might be a bigger problems, but this entire movie feels disjointed, and it just doesn’t add up to much.

The High Schooler’s Guide To College Parties was directed by Patrick Johnson, and was released on DVD on May 23, 2017 through MVD Visual. The DVD contains no special features.

Blu-ray Review: Where The Buffalo Roam

I wish Hunter S. Thompson were alive now to write about the current political climate in our country. His book Fear And Loathing: On The Campaign Trail ’72 is what initially got me interested in politics back in my early twenties (and is the book that informed me that I’d been born the day of the New Hampshire primary). This book is also one of the sources of inspiration for the 1980 film Where The Buffalo Roam, which stars Bill Murray as Hunter S. Thompson, and Peter Boyle as Oscar Zeta Acosta (here named Carl Lazlo) (though the main source is a piece that Thompson wrote about Acosta). I’ve always enjoyed this film, even in its slightly screwed up VHS version. And now Shout! Factory, as part of its Shout Select series, has released a special Blu-ray edition that restores the original soundtrack (something lacking in that VHS edition, as well as earlier DVD versions). I can’t imagine a better time to revisit this movie, when our entire nation is filled with fear and loathing.

The film opens with a rendition of “Home On The Range” sung by Neil Young (a song which was included in earlier home video releases). And then we meet Hunter S. Thompson, who as usual is working against a looming deadline. He is surrounded by elements of his work, including a bat hanging overhead and a life-size Nixon doll with a Grateful Dead Skull and Roses T-shirt. He is writing about Lazlo, and the film then takes us back to 1968 in San Francisco, where Thompson has checked himself into a hospital to do some writing and to enjoy a nurse’s company. His lawyer Lazlo comes to the rescue, and soon both Thompson and we are treated to seeing this lawyer in action. Peter Boyle, as always, delivers a good performance. (That scene also includes Craig T. Nelson as a cop who thinks a pack of cigarettes might contain a bomb.)

The movie then moves to Los Angeles in 1972, as Thompson is assigned to cover the Super Bowl. Yes, the movie is episodic, something which bothered critics at the time of its release, but which never frustrated me. Before the game, Lazlo shows up in a Nixon mask, saying, “I am the president of the United States and I can do anything I want.” Hey, did Donald Trump see this film and take that line to heart? He certainly seems to have some affinity for Nixon. Well, Lazlo pulls Thompson off that assignment to take him on a much weirder one. But my favorite part of this film is the 1972 campaign trail material. This section features a wonderful performance by Rene Auberjonois as another journalist caught on a short leg of the campaign with Thompson. “It’s my turn to fly,” indeed. Also, Mark Metcalf, whom you’ll recall from his performance in Animal House (which he then recreated for a famous Twisted Sister video), plays Dooley, Thompson’s adversary. The scene where Hunter S. Thompson has an unlikely meeting with Nixon is great.

At the end of the film, Thompson says, “It still hasn’t gotten weird enough for me” (a line that often pops in my head when things get strange). And again, I wish Hunter S. Thompson were alive today. If he were, might he say things have gotten weird enough? Or perhaps even too weird?

Special Features

This Blu-ray edition includes Inventing The Buffalo: A Look Back With John Kaye, an interview with screenwriter John Kaye. He talks about how Universal originally wanted to do a film version of Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, but had problems getting the rights to the book. John Kaye at that time read a piece Hunter S. Thompson wrote about Oscar Acosta, and thought that would make a better film anyway. Kaye is candid when talking about the time he spent with Thompson in preparation for the project, and about the film’s reception across the country. He also tells a wild anecdote concerning Hunter S. Thompson and Dennis Murphy. This featurette is approximately forty-two minutes.

The Blu-ray also includes the film’s theatrical trailer.

Where The Buffalo Roam was directed by Art Linson, and was released on Blu-ray through Shout! Factory on June 6, 2017.