DVD Review: Barney Miller: The Final Season

Every once in a while a show will rise above its sitcom format, or do something special within that structure. Shows like M.A.S.H. and All In The Family come to mind as examples. And such a show was Barney Miller. The writing was really good, the characters completely fleshed out and original, and the acting quite good as well. The series lasted eight seasons, and managed to remain fresh and interesting and relevant right up to the end. It had warmth and intelligence and wit, and also more often than not had something important to say. And to think this show took place almost entirely on just one set – the detectives’ squad room, with Captain Miller’s office attached.

The show stars Hal Linden as Barney Miller, Max Gail as Stan “Wojo” Wojciehowicz, Ron Glass as Ron Harris, Steve Landesberg as Arthur Dietrich, and Ron Carey as Carl Levitt. Barney Miller: The Final Season includes all twenty-two episodes of the eighth season on three discs, plus lots of bonus material. These episodes originally aired in 1981-1982.

One of my favorite episodes of the season is “Stress Analyzer,” which features guest star James Cromwell as Dr. Danworth, from the center for stress studies. He’s there to collect data from Dietrich. There is also an elderly woman who accuses her husband of cheating and wants the police to run the other woman out of town. And a recruiter for the Peace Corps is angry at self-involved students (which is perfect, as this was the beginning of the awful Reagan years). This is an hilarious episode. I usually dislike Christmas episodes of shows, but “Homeless” is a good one, and it features a guest appearance by David Clennon as Howard Weckler. Clennon is an actor I always love to see, and he’s brilliant in this episode, as always. “The Tontine” features Ian Wolfe, whom you’ll recall as Mrs. Carlson’s butler in WKRP In Cincinnati. That episode also features a CPR instructor who has a special relationship with his dummy.

I like the way the show handles some serious subjects. In “Advancement,” a detective is unhappy about his impending retirement. He says, “Most people facing retirement, they got somebody else facing it with them.” This leads to his wanting to find an Asian bride to share his final miserable years, which becomes a running storyline throughout the season. There are a couple of other running storylines, like Harris’ writer’s block and Officer Levitt’s quest for promotion. By the way, it’s interesting how often the charges against suspects are dropped in these episodes.

There are so many great lines in this series. In “Games,” a nervous suspect says: “Please don’t let me go to jail. My wife hardly talks to me now.” And in “The Clown,” a criminal says: “I couldn’t make up my mind whether I wanted to go straight into med school or work in a hospital first, get some practical experience. So I robbed a shoe store and bought drugs.” Dietrich is my favorite character. I love his dry, intelligent humor. In “Obituary,” a woman asks, “Is there some place I could go to freshen up?” Dietrich replies, “No, but we have a bathroom.”

This season has two multi-part episodes. The first is “Chinatown,” in which a witness to a gang-related murder in Chinatown doesn’t want to testify or even offer any information. This two-part episode also features Joanna Barnes as a wealthy victim of a mugging, and in it she wears a gorgeous lynx coat. And the series’ finale is a three-part episode titled “Landmark,” in which the building that houses the twelfth precinct might be sold as an historic site. The first part opens with a man who has been robbed of every cent he owns. He says: “You see, I’ve been out of work for almost a year and a half. I was laid off on inauguration day” (a nice, subtle jab at Ronald Reagan). And a newly released hostage is arrested. His time as a hostage seems to have had some interesting effects on his outlook. This three-part episode is a nice way of wrapping up the series, long before the show was in any danger of becoming stale.

Special Features

This three-disc set includes several bonus features, all of which are on the third disc. There are commentary tracks on the final three episodes, all done by director Tony Sheehan and writers/producers Jeff Stein and Frank Dungan. The three joke around a bit, teasing each other. On the commentary track for “Landmark Part 1,” Tony Sheehan says, “The show pretty much directed itself.” On that commentary track, they talk about ending the show, about the “Chinatown” episode and about the writing process for this series. In the commentary for the second part, they talk about Danny Arnold as a director, and about how many of the series’ stories came from real life, from newspapers. And it’s so interesting to learn that the network wasn’t allowed to give notes on the show, which was probably one of the main reasons why the show was so good. In the commentary for the final episode, they talk about the show’s appeal to men.

Inside The 12th Precinct is a half-hour look at the series, featuring interviews with cast members Abe Vigoda, Hal Linden, Max Gail and Steve Landesberg (the Landesberg interview was filmed in 2009), as well as with writers/producers Frank Dungan and Jeff Stein. They talk about how there was a studio audience at the beginning, and why that stopped. Hal Linden talks about the original pilot. Salute To The Old One Two is basically a continuation of that featurette, in which the cast members talk about certain episodes, such as the hash brownies episode and the prostitute episode. Frank Dungan mentions that it was most difficult to write for the Barney character. This featurette is approximately twenty-four minutes. Inside The Writers Room features more of the interviews with Frank Dungan and Jeff Stein, who talk about how they became interested in the series, how they broke into comedy, and specifically about writing for this show, and how it differed from other situation comedies. This is approximately sixteen minutes.

Also included is The Life And Times Of Captain Barney Miller, the original pilot episode, which has a different cast and a very different opening title sequence. And then, for comparison, the uncut version of “Ramon,” the re-cast version of the pilot, is also included. The special features also include an excerpt from You Don’t Know Jack: The Jack Soo Story, a documentary on Jack Soo.

Barney Miller: The Final Season was released on DVD on July 7, 2015 through Shout! Factory.

DVD Review: Kung Fu And Titties

When I told my girlfriend the title of this DVD when it arrived, she laughed. She also knew (without saying so) that a movie called Kung Fu And Titties was right up my alley, for I, like a lot of guys I know, am still twelve years old in some ways. Or perhaps just in one way: I am still completely coo-coo for breasts. My expectations for this film were understandably low, yet I was still excited to see it.

It’s not long before we see boobs. Richard (Sean Molnar), an amateur fighter, is nearing forty and not doing well in the ring. A girl comes in after his fight and mistakes Richard for a guy named Francis, telling him she’s hot for him and immediately taking off her shirt. The breasts are accompanied by a goofy sound effect, but so what. Like I said, I’m still twelve, and I appreciate a nice pair of breasts like these. But when Richard admits he’s not Francis, she puts her shirt back on (to no accompanying sound effect) and tells him, “Francis is going to hear about this,” which is great. Seriously, this movie had me laughing out loud. Like when Richard asks Marv, “Who the hell carries around packages of bologna in their bag?” and Marv answers, “You’ll find out when you’re my age.”

Richard’s girlfriend, Cynthia (Seregon O’Dassey), is on his case about losing weight. And she’s pregnant. Richard’s sister has stopped by because her boyfriend has been kidnaped. At that moment, Cynthia too is kidnaped. Richard tries to stop the kidnapers, and in the process is sucked into another dimension. And all of that is in the pre-credit sequence to this absurd film.

Once in the other dimension, Richard is immediately attacked by a man in a gorilla suit (Mike Marino) and meets Two Dogs Fucking (Bronson Pinchot), both of whom agree to help him find his girlfriend. Cynthia is being held captive by a dirty old man named Zeefros (John Archer Lundgren), who collects women and has them strip and dance for him (which means we’re treated to shots of topless women in cages). He is also obsessed with Raine Brown, who plays herself in this film. Two Dogs Fucking believes Richard is the chosen one, there to save everyone in this dimension and usher in a new era. Okay.

Sure, the movie is kind of stupid, but deliberately, gloriously so. And there is plenty to make me laugh. Like when a French villain says: “You are like breakfast without wine. You are like an armpit without hair.” Or when Richard asks Gorilla, “You just gave up on your kid?” and Gorilla responds, “I didn’t give up on my kid; Zeefros ate him.” Generally, fart jokes aren’t funny, but I couldn’t help but laugh when a flatulent man says, “There’s a bit of solid in that one.” There is even a musical montage as Gorilla helps Richard train for his fight with Zeefros. It does go on quite a bit longer than necessary, however. And actually a good ten minutes could be cut from this film without losing any of the plot or any of the funny jokes.

It’s interesting that for a movie obsessed with breasts, there’s a surprising amount of homoeroticism. And for some reason we keep getting shots of some chick trying to remove a chastity belt. But, whatever. This is a movie that never once asks to be taken seriously. And be sure to watch all the end credits, for there’s an extra bit at the end that made me laugh.

Kung Fu And Titties was directed by Joseph McConnell, and was released on DVD on August 11, 2015 through MVD Visual. The DVD contains no special features.

DVD Review: Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume One

Good news, Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans: Shout! Factory is re-releasing the out-of-print first collection of MST3K episodes. And even better news: the four-disc set comes with new special features, including The Crown Jewels: The Story Of America’s Oldest Independent Film Company and a Q&A regarding The Creep Behind The Camera. This set includes four episodes – one Joel Hodgson episode and three Mike Nelson episodes. Interestingly, the three Mike episodes are all from 1994.

Disc One: Catalina Caper

Catalina Caper is a Joel episode from 1990. At the beginning the robots offer prayers for other robots, including R2-D2 and Twinkie. Usually the invention exchange is one of the weaker sections of the show, but this episode’s “Tank Top” is perfect. And during one of the breaks, Tom Servo sings a delightful love song to the creepy girl in the film. But of course it’s the main feature which is the focus. The gang jokes, “The best beach party ever was the one at Normandy.” Little Richard performs in this movie, which is great. But it doesn’t stop the gang from poking fun. Regarding Little Richard’s outfit, Crow says, “Hey, we have a chair downstairs with that upholstery.” But they also say, “Little Richard: the only genuine talent in this film.” When some characters are about to take a guy scuba diving for the first time, Bunny tells him: “There’s a trick to it. Just remember one thing.” Tom Servo jumps in, “You’ll be under water.” Later, when a horrible band is performing, the camera focuses on one member, leading Tom Servo to quip, “I’m gonna quit this band and start a career in music.” When one character tells another, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” the gang jokes, “Isn’t this movie enough?” This episode contains references to Gilligan’s Island, The Dukes Of Hazzard, The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane, Westside Story and Five Easy Pieces.

Disc One Special Features

The first disc includes The Crown Jewels: The Story Of America’s Oldest Independent Film Company, which is about Crown International and Newton “Red” Jacobs. It includes stuff on the biker movies. This disc also includes the trailer for Catalina Caper.

Disc Two: The Creeping Terror

The Creeping Terror is one of the worst films ever made (several years ago I posted a Good Things About Bad Movies review of it), but as is often the case, the worst movies make some of the best MST3K episodes. This is a Mike episode from 1994. The movie opens in darkness, leading Crow to say, “The point of view of Helen Keller.” Tom Servo comments on the pace of the monster: “Well, it is creeping. You’ve got to give it that.” And later Mike says, “The Creeping part is apt, but the Terror part is just not happening.” When the sheriff stares at the rocket, the gang jokes, “If I could find a windshield, I’d give it a ticket.” When the sound and picture don’t quite synch up, they ask, “Which one of us is talking?” The film is heavily narrated, and when the narrator begins blabbing on about marriage, Crow says, “He’s a renegade narrator on the loose.” Tom Servo shouts, “You want to get back to the script?” There is a scene of the world’s worst mother, and when she says, “Poor baby, you’ll feel better soon,” Mike says, “How about picking him up or feeding him?” And Crow adds, “My love deprivation experiment is going well.” And when a guy attacks the monster with a guitar, Tom Servo jokes, “Only Tom Paxton can save us now.” And I love the jokes every time we see a soldier standing strangely close to the rocket shop.

Disc Two Special Features

The second disc includes a Q&A for The Creep Behind The Camera from Screamfest 2014, as well as an extended trailer for The Creep Behind The Camera and The Creeping Terror trailer for Screamfest 2014.

Disc Three: Bloodlust

The third disc is Bloodlust, a Mike episode from 1994. Before the feature, the gang suffers through a short titled Uncle Jim’s Dairy Farm. As the family eats dinner, Mike quips, “Repressed emotions help the evening pass without incident.” Crow jokes, “Despair was the bumper crop.” When a character in the main feature says she still doesn’t know what is going on, Crow replies, “Neither do we.” And when a nerdy character goes exploring the house, Crow says, “Indiana Nerd And The Temple Of Dork.” After body parts turn up in a laboratory, the gang jokes, “Bad news – the kitchen’s not up to code.” And they point out how the lead female character seems to change heights several times. When one of the villains grabs that girl, Crow jokes, “Bob Packwood goes a-courtin’.” Remember that bastard? This episode includes references to Lifeboat, Citizen Kane, Cagney & Lacey, Monty Python’s Flying Circus and John Steinbeck. By the way, Maria Bamford is credited as fiddler at the end of the episode.

Disc Three Special Feature

The third disc includes the trailer for Bloodlust.

Disc Four: The Skydivers

This episode opens with some obvious but still hilarious jokes about Uranus. Crow says, “Uranus is big and gassy, isn’t it?” Like Bloodlust, this episode has a short film before the feature. Why Study Industrial Arts is one of the funniest short segments the series ever did. The boy who narrates the short tells us, “I like the smell of fresh wood chips and sawdust.” The gang teases, “I put them in my underwear.” The boy continues, “Or the dull tap tap of tools on leather,” leading Crow to joke, “I keep Popular Mechanics under my mattress.” The main feature is a terrible movie with little if any plot, and the gang turns it into one of the most enjoyable episodes of the series. After a dull plane incident, a character asks, “What happened?” The gang answers, “I saw my hair in the mirror and panicked.” When another character tells her she is prettier every day, Tom Servo determines, “She must have written the dialogue.” The film is a mess, and at one point Crow says, “Someone with Attention Deficit Disorder edited this film.” When one character asks another if she’ll see him tomorrow, Mike responds, “You have to ask the editor.” And when she lights a candle, Crow quips, “They’re going to invoke the spirit of the continuity man.” At one point, as the plane starts to move, Crow jokes, “Roger, tower, which way’s the sky?” Mike asks, “The actors do their own skydiving?” Crow answers, “No, the skydivers did they own acting.” Regarding the plot, Mike observes, “Seems like they forgot to have things happen in this movie.” This is one of the funniest episodes. The scene about the coffee had me in tears, I was laughing so hard. Sure, I’d had a few beers, but still, this is one hell of a good episode. And the gang refers to the opening short film throughout the episode.

Disc Four Special Feature

This disc includes the trailer for The Skydivers.

This special re-issue of Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume One is scheduled to be released on DVD on September 1, 2015 through Shout! Factory. I hope Shout! Factory plans on re-releasing more of the out-of-print volumes soon.

DVD Review: Sir Ivan: I Am Peaceman

Sir Ivan: I Am Peaceman is sort of a documentary about Ivan Wilzig, a rich banker who in his forties decided to pursue a career as a singer. It opens with a strange rendition of “Kumbaya,” played with cheesy music video images, and features interviews with Ivan, his mother, his brother and his girlfriend. Ivan talks about leaving the banking world: “I wanted to go from one extreme to the other, from banking to entertainment. And I had to do it quickly at the age of forty-five and let the world know that I was entering the picture.” Sir Ivan does covers of 1960s songs, such as “Turn! Turn! Turn!” and “Get Together” and “Eve Of Destruction.” He does dance renditions of this music, and he wears capes and jewelry with the peace symbol on them. That’s his thing.

And no, I had never heard of this guy either. In fact, at the beginning of the film I thought the whole thing might be a put-on. It feels like a fake documentary, and there’s a good reason for that: its subject, Ivan Wilzig, is also its executive producer. So it’s basically a puff piece. Still, there is some interesting stuff here. For example, his mother has an erotic art museum, and Ivan talks about his mom’s passion for erotic art. The film treats us to some images from her collection, and of course that is more interesting than a cape. Ivan also talks about his father, a businessman who survived the holocaust. “He didn’t go to Princeton, he didn’t go to Yale, he didn’t go to Harvard. He went to Auschwitz, and never finished junior high school.” The stuff about his father is particularly interesting, how that experience during the holocaust affected the way he later viewed family and business, and how that in turn affected Ivan.

But Ivan himself is not all that interesting. He’s just a rich guy who risked absolutely nothing to pursue a career in music. If he fails, no big deal. After all, he already owns a castle in the Hamptons, where he throws elaborate parties (about which he boasts). Ivan has the money to do things like hire an artist to make a sculpture of his annoying girlfriend, Mina, and we see a bit of that as well. And the music is somewhere between bad and pointless. Just listen to the originals instead. I especially hate his rendition of “Let’s Live For Today,” a Grass Roots song that I love.

The stuff about his popularity online isn’t interesting. And I could do without that footage of Ivan and Mina’s stupid little dog (which also wears a cape) taking a shit on a red carpet. But I do like that the thing bites some girl who is in the process of saying that the dog is cute. (Just for the record, chihuahuas are not cute; they’re ugly, loud, nervous little beasts, and people who carry them around as accessories are the worst kind of people.) And when a bullshit news show compares a party at Ivan’s castle to Woodstock, I want to draw blood.

That being said, Ivan is apparently doing some good things with charity work, including The Peaceman Foundation, which fights hate crimes. And being in favor of peace and love can never be a bad thing. But like I said, Ivan Wilzig is the executive producer of the movie, which is almost certainly the reason the film lacks a balanced viewpoint. The movie is less than an hour long, because, really, how long can you talk about capes?

Special Features

The DVD contains some bonus material, including music videos for “Kiss All The Bullies Goodbye,” “La La Land,” “Hare Krishna,” “Let’s Live For Today” (which he calls “Live For Today,” and yes, the music video made me hate his version of it even more) and “Kumbaya.” There is also some footage of preparations for a party at the castle, as well as footage of the party itself, with Ivan greeting people.

Sir Ivan: I Am Peaceman was directed by Jim Brown, and was released on DVD on August 14, 2015 through MVD Visual.