Most people know Neal Cassady as the real-life inspiration for Dean Moriarty in Jack Kerouac’s On The Road. But I first read about him as the fearless driver of “Furthur,” Ken Kesey’s psychedelic bus, in Tom Wolfe’s The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. He is also mentioned in a verse of the Grateful Dead’s “The Other One.” Neal Cassady was greater than fiction, a total force, a completely intriguing character. His brain seemed to operate on a level that was different from that of most people. Jerry Garcia described how Cassady interacted with folks: “You might not see him for months, you know, and he would pick up exactly where he left off the last time he saw you, like in the middle of a sentence.” Before Jerry Garcia met him, before Ken Kesey met him, he wrote a long letter to Jack Kerouac. This was in 1950. Kerouac said he was inspired by that letter, and there had been some efforts by Allen Ginsberg to get it published. The letter was then lost, though Kerouac had apparently copied a third of it or so. Stephen Kay’s film The Last Time I Committed Suicide is based on that letter, or at least on the part that was known at the time the movie was made. For it wasn’t until more recently that the full letter was discovered and subsequently published. It is known as “the Joan Anderson letter.” The Last Time I Committed Suicide stars Thomas Jane as Neal Cassady and Claire Forlani as Joan, and is now being released on Blu-ray as part of the MVD Marquee Collection.
The film opens in black and white, jazz music playing,
the camera hand-held, establishing a lively rhythm. Rhythm was important to
Cassady, in the way he spoke, the way he moved. And in this scene, he is
walking about his home, talking to himself, working out a story, and then
sitting down to type it out in the form of a letter. We see him address it, “Dear Jack.” After the opening titles
sequence, the film goes to color as we move into the story of the letter, and
Cassady visits Joan in the hospital. The film bounces around a bit in time, and
we soon learn that it was a suicide attempt that led to her hospitalization.
The film doesn’t really get into the reason for the attempt, but the letter
makes it pretty clear that Cassady was going to split up with her. In voice
over, Cassady says, “I never asked her
why.”
In the movie, Cassady works at a tire shop with an older man named Jerry (Jim Haynie). In real life, he worked for a railroad company. Cassady tells his co-worker, “Jerry, we come in here, five out of seven, fifty out of fifty-two, make things that are taking people places, and we’re going nowhere.” The movie is about that internal struggle, his desires pulling him in two opposing directions, toward a normal home life with a family, and to a more nomadic existence. We all know how things turned out, but this film takes place in that moment in Cassady’s life before the decision was made, and depicts some events that may have led to it. And it features a pretty great cast. Adrien Brody plays Benjamin, who seems to be based on Allen Ginsberg, and there are some hints of a sexual relationship between them. Keanu Reeves plays Harry, a pool-hall denizen who befriends Cassady and seems to want to lead him into trouble (I’m not sure if he is based on a real person or not). At one point, we see Cassady, Harry and two girls out on the road, freely enjoying themselves. Though my favorite bit with Keanu Reeves in this film is toward the end when he talks about being creepy. “Start with honesty, that’s what my old man said before he took off,” he says. “And I might add that creepiness just so happens to be one of my most powerful traits. Creepiness and neediness.” The film also stars John Doe, Marg Helgenberger, Gretchen Mol and Amy Smart. And watch for an appearance by the boom mic in the scene at the police station.
The film ends as it began, in black and white, as Cassady finishes the letter. Sure, not a lot happens in this movie, as far as a strong narrative goes, but that isn’t really the point. The film depicts a key figure in the beat culture at the time when he was unsure where his life was going, before the events in The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, before the events in On The Road, even before he traveled to California. The Last Time I Committed Suicide was written and directed by Stephen Kay, and is scheduled to be released on Blu-ray on July 6, 2021 through MVD Visual. The Blu-ray includes the film’s trailer.
